Friday, January 21, 2011

Transformational Work

                   We are made of energy.
                  Transformation means:
         Transforming our rate of vibration

                   to a higher frequency.
 Our habitual reactions are a product of our past conditionings.
They are automatic and our response to anything that touches them is “predictable”.
The mind reacts to a situation according to our programmed beliefs.
We are offended, become negative violent,or depressed and “predictable”.
Being slaves of our feelings and social conditioning is a pathetic way to live.
We are not only accustomed to being in this state of slavery,
but we justify and defend it.   
Automatic functioning is a trained response to life it destroys aliveness.

Knowing and being are totally different worlds.
Someone may be good at their profession, yet very easily disturbed, angered, or insulted, which means their emotions are totally without freedom.
A program does what it’s programmed to do. 
We become de-pressed, dis-eased, exhausted or bored with life.
It stops us seeing what's possible.
So it stops transformation.

You must clear past painfull emotions.
Emotional pain and negativity is stored in the body the same way as pollutants.
Ignoring them and thinking positive does not last long.
Does not release dense vibrations.
And reconfirms failure because we will attract the same experiences.
The more we clear the clearer we are.    
It presents possibilities that can guide us away from destruction towards transformation.

Evolve Out Of Violence


Enough!!!   I have had enough of Me
How I think I should be
Who I think I should be
What I think I should say
How I think I should feel
I need to get off Me
Leave me be
I remember Me
I look at photos of Me as a child and I see Me
I remember Me
Connected to the present Me
To alive, to laughter, to my loving heart, to now
Creative, power-full, nature child Me
I knew the emperor had no clothes on
Why did I think I couldn’t be Me
Why wasn’t Me enough
Did I have to lose Me to find Me
Not being Me is exhausting Me
It’s using up all my Chi
It doesn’t replenish  Me
It’s time to get back to  Me
Stop wasting time not being  Me
What a great thing to contribute to life


I command my mind
My mind is made up
It has decided
It's sure
It is as my mind sees and understands it to be
Yet again
Out of I know not where
Emotions jump up to the forefront
Contradicting the mind
Showing another side
The debate begins
The battle I know so well
I, losing control, con-fusing
Mind should-ing at me
Emotions whirling me in feelings
Fusing, con-fusing.  Fusing, con-fusing
Who will win this round?
Where am I?
Who is serving who?


The sun gives.
Physically, life grows; our bodies grow, planets grow.
Sun, yang, external, gives life force.
But what about spiritually?
Does it help us grow spiritually?
What's our soul’s relationship with the sun?

Moon, yin, internal;  does it take life force?
Is it a dying planet?
Or is it still growing and needs to be fed?
The law of nature or evolution is, life lives off life.
Who are we food for?
We being the highest living creatures on the food chain.

Full moon - we lose control.
It is said, if unaware, you are controlled by the planet’s forces.
If aware, you can control the effect of the planet’s forces on you.
Does that mean if we are not consciously conscious, 
We are food for the moon?
If I'm aware of what's eating me:
Ego, fear, trying to be, important, not important,
Will I stop being eaten by the “I am's” that I think I am,
Or by the moon?

Emotional Intelligence

I first heard the term emotional intelligence when I was a child.
My old Russians grandparents would talk about it.
I didn't understand what they meant at the time but
I could somehow feel the importance of the conversation
And the memory stayed with me.
Having grown up in Australia, I often went
Walkabout with my Aborigine friends.
The elders talked about how we have come to this planet
To learn to develop our emotional intelligence.
That's why we are born on this physical planet they say,
Why we are physical this time round, why we experience physical pain.
They told me the fastest vibration is emotion. It's even faster than light
So it's very hard for our consciousness to catch and hold onto it,
And not let it take control of our life.
But if we evolve that energy then that's the way home. 
Or, as Buddha said,
“Find the face you were before you were born.”
Why wasn't I taught that at school, I asked?
Isn't that the most important thing to learn?
Is that why so many people are on anti-depressants?
Is that why narcissism, depression, schizophrenia
Are the now modern dis-eases?
What is knowledge without emotional intelligence creating on our planet?
Is it fear?
Yet, the prophets say     “Do not be afraid.”            Why?
Because it's the opposite direction to opening the heart?
Because it retards emotional intelligence?


What's motivating us:
Fear, greed, competition, lack of this and that?
Or is it the Universal Law of Evolution to be motivated
To do, to be, or to have ?
Is there a certain force vibration on our planet
Or is it built into our DNA?
Are we humanoids programmed in this way
Or is our planetary system programmed in the same way?
Is this the force of evolution,
Or was it given birth to by fear?
Fear giving birth to desire,
Desire giving birth to narcissism,
Narcissism being the now modern dis-ease of the industrial devolution.
Does narcissism give birth to schizophrenia, also a now modern dis-ease?
And does narcissistic schizophrenia create de-pression?
Is de-pression a red flag of our spirit screaming for freedom?
Are all these negative against-life forces layered onto our spirit,
Giving us motivation to find the face we were before we were born?

Political Institutions

They say girls shouldn't sit that way, walk that way, talk that way.
Boys shouldn't emote that way, feel that way, think that way.
That's what they say.
Who's they?
The Boogie Man?
The devil?
Long ago, that is what they said. The political institution of that day
And today, political correctness is the political institution of this day.

Confucius said:
“Mark the street signs clearly so that we know where we’re going.
A whole society can be lost if the way isn't clear.”

Twenty thousand casualties. What does that mean? Is that clear?
Or is it really twenty thousand young men
Under the age of twenty five. Dead.
Killed for the political institution’s need to have power over others.

Are we so blinded by the self censorship of political correctness?

Have we lost our way?


Touch, touched, being touched, smile touch, sound touch,
Many ways of being
Research show there's a chemical reaction
In the body that happens through
It releases endorphins helping body, mind and emotions relax, re-align
Mexico has the lowest level of crib death
Because the babies are always being
I am touched when the child next door follows me around wanting to Touch me

I had a young boy visit me regularly when I lived in Tokyo
He always came wounded in some way
Scratched his knee, cut his finger, hurt his head
I made a point of touching him, lots
One visit he came to see me on crutches
Now that's an extreme need to be touched, I thought
How long has it been since your parents touched you, I asked
He said he remembered clearly… when he was 5
His heart was so needing to be touched, he told me
He felt locked up inside where the sun couldn't touch him
I decided while in Japan I was going to touch children with a smile
Beautiful smiles I received in response kept
My heart open in a busy crowded city

Sound touch, that's a touch
My beautiful meditation music touches me
Bringing me onto a higher plain of thinking, of seeing  the world,
Of being in my life for myself
And still, in the process of growing,
I am aware of the sounds I don't want to be touched by
Giving myself the right to say no
To receiving negative, toxic sounds
Being talked at
Downloaded onto
No, thank you


Am I only a collection of perceptions?
Every time I look inside, that's all I see. 
A collection of perceptions.
How can I trust my judgments?
Am I constantly  projecting onto life 
My collection of perceptions?
My beliefs, my opinions, my values,
All a collection of perceptions.
When did they enter my being?
I like this, I don't like that.
He's good, she's bad.
She's good, he's bad
Good. Bad. Good. Bad.
My collection of perceptions.
What if I let them go?
Will I disappear?
They make me feel
Right, safe, of value.
They give me an opinion, a position in life.
What's behind the door of my collection of perceptions?
How life should be,
For you. For me.
Hell on earth, life drying up,
My collection of perceptions.
Like a mouse running on a wheel
Stop. Look. Where am I?
The same place?
The wheel, my collection of perceptions sucking up my life force.
It's a machine. Machines machine.
Machines don't ask why.
The momentum keeps them going
And my life dries up.
Gratitude.I see myself machining.


My mother, having an open throat chakra and a close relationship with rage, frightened me as a child.
She was a strong Russian woman having survived the war.
I didn't want to be like that.
She was too strong, too aggressive, too direct.
I wanted to be gentle, sweet, good girl,
So I swung to the opposite side of the pendulum.
If I loved everyone they would love me back, I thought.
People do what people do and my good girl acting sweet,
Could not, did not, change their program.
Anyone’s program.
The only thing my acting sweet did for me was
It kept putting me in situations of being victimized,
Feeling sorry for myself.
On one of my sad days, I read,
“The victimizer comes dressed as a victim"
What does that mean?!!!
Well, maybe that's true but not in my case. I'm trying to be nice.
Suddenly the realization came. “I'm trying to be.”
That was my agenda, “trying to be.”
So you have to act accordingly otherwise
I'll be a victim because I'm nice.
All energy forces are given for the purpose of evolution
And you don't respect rage,
A wise old man once told me.
“What does the spirit of rage have to teach you?” he said. “You’re not listening.”
His words shocked me into trying to listen inside myself,
And yes, I found it.
I don't want to be like my mother. Her power hurt.
So I became afraid of the force of rage,
Castrating myself from myself.
But as forces go, the more you ignore them,
The louder they keep knocking,
Wanting to be used for the purpose of evolution.
After much conscious effort, I can say rage and I are respectful friends.
I don't need its help but if necessary, it's available.
It has given me courage to take more risks.
To be OK with failure.
To see the humor of my madness
To live, love and let go.
Yes, we are now guilt-free good friends


It was one of those beautiful sunny days.
I was sitting in a cafe people watching, enjoying being alive.
Having one of my conversations with myself about miracles.
Left brain saying, “It's a fantasy created by wishful thinking.”
Right brain trying to see it that way, but NO! Doesn't agree.
The fact that I'm sitting here is a miracle.
How many billions of sperm did I have to race against and win?
That determination, that intention.
That's a miracle.
I remember wandering around Yoyogi Park on one of my visits to Tokyo.
I found a beautiful cherry blossom tree to sit under.
I was dreaming of eating a salmon and cream pie,
Knowing that Japanese don't normally make pies.
Especially salmon and cream pies.
Not a minute later, I get a tap on my shoulder.
I turn around. It's my friend, Peter, handing me a salmon and cream pie.
That's a miracle.
I was in the audience listening to a lecture thinking
“I have reached a good enough level in my work.
Time to give back. Time I started giving lectures.
Dare I think that?”
 “Make a commitment to yourselves,” the lecturer said.
“Without a commitment nothing much can happen.”
“Yes,” I thought, “I'm going to start giving lectures.”
In the break, a man walked up to me and said:
“I have a company, the lecturer is sick.
I desperately need someone with your knowledge. Now!
Please help!”
I was standing staring at him, thinking:
A Miracle

A Not So Young Man

Once upon a time, my not so young male friend said to me:
“I’m stuck in not respecting women.”
“I can't trust women,” he said.
“They are manipulative, passive aggressive and emotionally exhausting.”
I asked him if he was describing his relationship with his mother.
He said, “yes, I am.”
“OK then, my not so young male friend, you need an education
About women by a woman. “So I proceeded.
“In every ancient tribal ritual when a boy reached puberty,
The men in the tribe would come and take the boy away from his mother’s
Emotional protection to initiate him into the male world.
The mother lives off her son’s life force by trying to
Mold him to be the man she wants.
Weaving a web of ‘her special boy’ or ‘her emotional husband’,
She manipulates him with the spider aspect of a woman's nature.
If he doesn't co-operate, she threatens to withdraw her love
And she has raised him to believe his very survival depends on this love.
Or she plays the victim martyr card: ‘you bad boy for hurting mummy After all she has done for you.’”
“That's disgusting!” my not so young male friend says.
“Nature wasn't made to please your judgment,” I say.
“It is your role as a male to wake up and pull yourself away from Mummy's warm safe seductive illusionary web.”
“How can you see the web?” he asks.
“On the web is written the word ‘GUILT’ which stops you from seeing.
“How else can you find yourself
If you don't have adversities to fight against?” I say.

Enneagram Workshop

The greatest happiness is to know the sources of our unhappiness.

The Enneagram is not modern psychology. It is a time-tested ancient system showing us a map of our personality. It has been dated as far back as 5,000 years. Personality means what we grew up with we learned, what you learned we practiced, what we practiced we became. Character is what we were born with and personality is what we learned.
            For example it may have been your character to be sensitive to the feelings of others. As you grew up you were rewarded for that behavior and over identified with being a good person by being available for the needs of others. In the extreme, your needs were not seen and you yourself were not even aware when you over extended yourself.Over time it depresses and exhausts your life causing DIS-ease. The personality is a mechanism, a necessary way of dealing with life. It is the predictable response to life that keeps us repeating patterns and finding ourselves in similar situations over and over again.
  For example, you may find yourself in a repeated number of abusive relationships. Or you find yourself blocked in emotional expression or fear of showing vulnerability. We sabotage our future with our automatic behavior, our past pains and out-of-date beliefs. The Enneagram shows us our automatic, unconscious, and programmed responses to life that keep producing the same results. It helps us disengage from automatic behavior and so enables us to have free choice. For example helping when it´s right for you.Or being assertive or flexible in the right situations.Anything done unconsciously to the extreme of itself is bound to have negative consequences to your relationships, your health and your happiness.
 The Enneagram is a moving force from fixation to potent possibilities.

Enneagram Workshop Level 2

     The next level of the enneagram workshop is to learn the different personality manifestations, for example.Which is your primary function.  Instinct  Emotion or Thinking? Which is your primary re-action. Introvert  Extovert or Denial
     This workshop is to clearly see how and why we do what we do.. How that manifests in our life.And how we can use it as a tool for our evolution. To see exactly how our personality thinks feels and acts in certain situations liberates us from re-action. If it can be observed it means it's a part of you but it is not you. Your body is yours but it is not you.The process of seeing creates integration.
     It also makes us aware of how our personality effects our health. The trance of the personality blinds us to the fullness of our true nature. This work also helps heal painful past friends and family relationships by understanding that everyone sees the world through their own lens and not ours.
     For example: I must be strong to be respected,to survive. I can't be vulnerable I'll be taken advantage.I must help everyone to be a good person.If I don't feel it it won't hurt me.
     By clearly seeing and understanding our patterns we become free to choose.

The Importance of Detoxing

Did you know that when Elvis Presley died he had 5 months of accumulated undigested meat in his gut and colon.The key to staying healthy is to remove the toxic buildup in your gut. The gut is the primary force of your immune system.In Asian medicine they say that the blood is made in the gut and if it is full of toxins it pollutes the blood as your body makes it.That means your immune system has a much harder time fighting the damage free radicals create.
Scientists are now saying, if you optimize your defense system against free radicals you can extend your life span. And if there is more deterioration than creation of new cells you are inviting dis-ease.Pain in the body is a red light the body is telling you there is something wrong. A pill will turn the red light off but the problem is still there.
Do you turn the red light off in your car and hope the problem goes away? Red light usually means toxic poisoning your immune system is weak it can't correct the problem. And stress irritates the area the toxins are lodged in. Toxins accumulate in the gut intestines colon blood organs nerves hormones until they are removed they WILL over time create dis-ease.
The function of the liver is to create hormones produce biochemicals like bile which is necessary for digestion function, it stores vitamins minerals and disperses them when your body needs them. It filters the blood breaks down insulin. Synthetic colors in food, growth hormones, medications, fructose put the liver and kidney under dangerous stress levels.
Imagine if you never cleaned your teeth, it's the same thing internally. 
It's just common sense that the most important thing you can do to maintain a healthy body is to remove the toxic buildup, to detox your body.

Description of Bioenergetics by Alexander Lowen

Every chronic muscular spasm is a restriction of the individual freedom of movement and _expression. It is therefore a limitation on his capacity for pleasure. 
Every chronically tense muscle is a contracted muscle that has to be stretched to activate its potential for movement. Stretching a contracted muscle, which is elastic tissue, sets it into vibration, which may vary from fine fibrillation to gross shaking depending on the degree of tension and the amount of stretch. 
Loss of self awareness is caused by chronic muscle tension. This tension differs from the normal tensions of living by the fact that it is a persistent, unconscious muscular spasticity that has become part of the body structure or way of being. Because of this fact, the person is unaware that he has such chronic tensions until they begin to cause him pain. When this happens, he may sense the underlying tension but he has no awareness of what it means or why it developed. And he is completely helpless to do anything to relieve the tension. 
Feeling the pain of the tensions stops the activity or drops the weight. If, however, there is no way to remove the stress, the muscle will go into spasm. An emotional stress is just like a physical one; the muscles are charged with a feeling that they cannot release. They contract to hold or contain the feeling just as they do to support a weight, and if the feeling persists long enough, the muscle will go into spasm because it cannot get rid of the tension. 
Any emotion which cannot be released is a stress for the muscle; this is true because an emotion is a charge which presses outward for release. 
The tensions that arise through inhibition are chronic tensions which develop slowly, through repeated experiences, and so insidiously that the person is hardly conscious of the tension. Even if he is conscious of the tension, he knows no way to release it. 
Tense muscles can only be released by expressive movements, that is, movements in which the activity expresses the repressed feeling. As long as the movement is mechanically performed, the repressed impulses are held back and no release of the tension is effected. 
The basic bioenergetic concept is that each chronic muscle tension pattern must be dealt with on 3 levels: 1) its history or origin in the infantile or childhood situation. 2) its present day meaning in terms of the individual character and 3) its effect on bodily functioning this leads to important propositions: 
1. Every chronically tense muscle group represents an emotional conflict which is unresolved and probably repressed. The tension results from an impulse seeking _expression that meets a restraint based on fear. 
2. Every chronically contracted muscle represents a negative _expression. Since it is blocking the_expression of some impulse, it is in effect saying. I won't. unaware of the impulse and the tension that blocks it, all the individual can sense is can't. And without awareness, he really can't move the part of the body controlled by the muscle. The can't becomes changed into an won't when the person becomes aware of the holding expressed in the tension. By expressing his negative attitude consciously, he frees the muscle from the necessity of unconsciously blocking the impulse, and through this maneuver he gains the choice of expressing the impulse or withholding its _expression. 
3. The biological aspect of muscle tension is its relation to the capacity for pleasure. To the degree that chronic tensions immobilize our bodies, our capacity for pleasure is reduced. 
Grace is lost when a person is not free to follow his instincts and feelings. 
In a human being, the lack of physical grace is due to chronic muscular tensions that block the involuntary rhythmic movements of the body. Each tension pattern represents an emotional conflict that was resolved by the inhibition of certain impulses. This is no true resolution for the suppressed.